my low-budget approach to unscrewing urself

Hi .

How are you feeling today? I’m genuinely shattered from taking a milk shift last night after a week of trying to survive breathing…

But that’s not why I’m writing. See, I found out some cool stuff and wanted to share it with you.

No marketing or writing tips I promise!

Disclaimer:

If there’s nothing wrong with you you can stop reading now…

Ok but let’s back up a sec.

3.5 months ago I stopped all socials, and quit everything but farm work.

I didn’t know for how long.

I didn’t know if I was coming back.

And above all…I didn’t know if I wanted to.

Thing is… given the current landscape and the effort and me having burned myself out over the past 15 years well…

At the very least, I needed a break.

I also needed to face some stuff I’ve been successfully ignoring for decades.

Not that I wanted to.

Nobody wants to.

But hey here you are not able to work anyway so what are you gonna do….

If not making the most of your crash.

So after approximately 2 months of sleeping like ur mom I started to test.

I didn’t want talk therapy, i’ve done it before, it’s a hustle to get in and while it’s cool to talk things through for a while, really, the results weren’t mind-blowing.

Not helping you much if you know what’s up but can’t change a thing, right?

See, over the past 6 years I’d become an unofficial expert in psychology to make sense of my own stuff, but well…

Diagnosing yourself and changing yourself is NOT the same thing.

So I started investigating alternatives.

At first, I did all the healthy stuff everybody preaches yet no one does:

1. Getting some air

2. Sitting in the sun

3. Reducing my screens

4. Walking circles around a lake

5. Taking a pharmacy of supplements

6. Listening to podcast about well, psychology

7. Reading fiction books for the first time in my adult life

8. Journalling an exorbitant amount of nonsense every day

That was all fine, but still…

Felt more like maintenance than actually moving the needle.

So that’s when….

I started massage therapy (apparently that’s cool for PTSD).

To be honest with you I was pretty sceptical but… you tell me a soul in the world who doesn’t love massages???

Well I do so that was great.

But then…

It actually resurfaced feelings that seemed to have zero logical connection to the hour of me getting spilled oil all over my back.

(ew)

Naturally, I was confused…

So I investigated further (AI helps).

So it turns out …

Somatic therapy is actually a thing.

And scientifically proven (my world view crashed).

Well ok.

Let’s go all in then.

That was the exact moment I swallowed my pride and actually started…

Promise not to laugh ok…

Not even a grin!!!

……..Yoga.

Well ok I did laugh a bit at myself so I’ll allow the grin.

Now.

You’re expecting a big revelation so here it goes…

After a few days of just feeling stupid and inflexible and like I had genuinely lost it to live like a monk now, I started feeling even weirder.

I started getting strange symptoms, felt like I’d done a years’ worth of milk shifts in 1.5 hours of practise/day and my body refused basic functioning for days on end.

This does not seem that positive, and I certainly wasn’t having it.

So naturally, I bought an Apple Watch.

(To track what was going on, like, objectively)

Throwing my health info, heart rate and HRV metrics, sleep data, REM phases, yoga poses and general lifestyle choices as well as current situation into AI…

(German privacy protection laws are gasping right now)

It actually connected the dots between my weird symptoms and what was happening in my body.

And the overall consensus was…

My self-induced low-budget healing retreat was actually working.

Like.

Objectively.

And it wasn’t only working:

It was actually processing decades of suppressed emotions, memories, and belief systems at advanced speed.

How about THAT.

So without going into details cz I’ve given you enough…

If you’re struggling and don’t know why…

If you’re struggling and do know why (but can’t change a thing)….

The groundbreaking insight I’ve learned over the past 4 months is this:

The body does keep the score.

The best therapy I’ve found that doesn’t make you go bankrupt?

• do yin yoga (that’s the easiest AND most effective kind for what you’re trying to heal - you’re training your body to release nonsense memories)

• do massages (getting stuff out of your system)

• journal (as awkward as it gets)

• track and throw your health metrics into AI to help with cognitive integration, support processing, connecting the dots and making sense of it all in real time (without slowing down your daily progress cz your therapist is renovating her beach house this week)

And well yeah then all of the above of living a healthy life ok?

But hey I’m not going to lie to you all of this sounds great but it’s actually NOT fun.

In the slightest.

But here’s the cool thing:

The worse your symptoms get right now…

The more progress you’re actually making.

So yeah, .

This went way too deep today so here’s a cow doing yoga:

I hope u take care of yourself today.

xx Lessa

PS I’m out of PS’s even

PPS no I’m not let’s make fun of yogis one more time

PPPS I won’t include a pic cz that would be inappropriately attractive